Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
In other news, I just burned my penis
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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