you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
