Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
