Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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