those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
