btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
