okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
