Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Randomize
