Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
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