So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
