the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
