Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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