my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
