Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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