I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
