Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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