So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
