So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
