She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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