would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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