It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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