No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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