For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
