Sry I called you an 8
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
