I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
this hospital has no fireball
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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