what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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