I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
