Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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