in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
