well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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