I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
