It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
