It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
