I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
