i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We got so high we made milksteak
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
