I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
