This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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