Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
