i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
