I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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