In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My bed smells like the plague
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
