another moral hangover. fuck.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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