mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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