And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
