nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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