Do you still have your period?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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