Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize