And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
