If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
