Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
