the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize