Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
