Banned from zoo.
Again?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
last night I used snow as a chaser
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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