you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
