why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
