I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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