I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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